Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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