Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
