Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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