There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
