i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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