why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
