This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
