Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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