i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
