i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
