Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
