Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
