WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
