We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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