I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
