didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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