I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
