We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
