you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
