Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
