Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
time to smoke my breakfast
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
