I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
