I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
