I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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