I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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