It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
