How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
