Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
