yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
