Kiss
Puke
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize