Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
