Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
