The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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