Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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