apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
