i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
