You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
