We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You don't make any sense
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