can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
