Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
