1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
