Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
