I want to make a zoo with you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You dont lie about slip and slides
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
