i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
