where am i from again
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
