can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
whose parrot is this?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
