Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
