last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
