so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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