Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
